Its spring and everybody is churning out their end of season edits. Well, this ski bum doesn’t have video equipment, so I’m offering a hand-written, somewhat jovial account of my season (in picturebook form!). In true bum fashion, what this article lacks in flair it makes up for it in authenticity. You want insight into the glamorous lifestyle that is bumming? Take notes:
Cross training is important, you never want to enter a ski season out of shape. So I took the liberty of beach living in Thailand this November. Rock climbing and SCUBA diving is one way to keep the body trained, and tanned. This provided much more physical activity than pulling tubes on the couch, which how off-season is typically spent.
The Lion King, Tonsai
Once back in the states, sell the car and buy a sled. Winter parking regulations make cars too difficult anyway. Here in Crested Butte, the notorious Kebler trailhead is a quick two-mile hitchhike from town and you can leave your sled parked there for the season. Not to mention the free shuttle from town to the ski resort, or the ability to foot it to work everyday. Transportation, CHECK.
Her name is Valerie, and she’s a creampuff.
Live cheap. I slept on the floor most nights. Except when the ladies came to visit, then I got to use the pull out couch bed. I did alright, but don’t expect to be killing it when you’re bumming. After spending summers in a tent the floor seems nice. Plus, what business do you have doing in your room outside of sleep? Shouldn’t you be riding?
Couch and floor options. I’ve got multiple beds!
Stop grooming. Grow the biggest snow-net you can on your face. Bushy beards are incredibly multi-functional. They help trap heat so you won’t need that lame face gaiter anymore. Ski bunnies love them too (think moustache rides). Your beard helps dictate to others how ‘bummy’ you are, so employers won’t expect much out of you. And they catch snow trophies. You know you’ll be throwing up tidal waves of snow all season, flaunt it. Negative side: people will want to follow you and blow up your lines.
“Don’t follow me, I don’t know where I’m going!”
Now that all those formalities have been dealt with, get after it. Earn it, when necessary. Before I had a season pass lined up, I was boot-packing up the ski resort and ripping pow days on lifts where tickets weren’t checked. Hiking at 7:30am gets your body warmed up so you’ve already got the edge over those under-stretched fools riding the lifts. Plus it’s great training for all those backcountry missions.
Guns on Gothic
Take a hut trip, a ski bums best friend. Economical vacation. Stuff as many dudes as possible into a tiny space and shred everyday. Costs are kept minimal with more buddies, all you can do is eat, ski, party. You’ll be eating cheap, typically a Costco trip is involved. And drinking whatever booze you’ve trekked in, so you can’t blow all your money at the bars or going out to eat. Just hope you don’t lose all your flow playing dice in the hut.
7 dudes 1 hut . com
Stay healthy, rip hard. With a lifestyle revolving around riding, it’s a bum’s duty to kill it. Here are a few snapshots of how much harder than you I tore it up this season:
I was the only snowboarder this day… does my line stick out too?
Super Mario World. Photo: Gradow
Hit Every Pillow Photo: Gradow
How To Disappear. Photo: Gradow
Oh yeah, the party scene. Ski bumming just isn’t the same without celebration. You’re reading the words of royalty, this year’s King of Soul. You’re welcome. Crowned during a ferocious dance off, I’ve got all the moves the ladies love and the fellows wish they had. Shortly after the crowning, my duties required me to bring the party on closing day. A local softball team provided the beer, I provided the party vibes. I devoted a quick 10-minute build session on a kicker just big enough to backflip the party pit. Last day of the season = naked backflip. Somebody has to do it.
Party like its 1974
King shows em how its done. Beer in hand backside 180. Photo: Justin Dersham
Crushing. One word to describe my 12/13 winter season. Plenty of riding and partying, not so much working or grooming. So there you have it, a quick picture book account of this King’s season. Hope you all had as much fun as I did, but I doubt it. Keep bumming!
The King of Soul is Nick “The Thrill” Hill. But you can call him your highness.
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